


Advise 911

by TenSpencerRiedPlease



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, Asexual Ned Leeds, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Clueless Tony, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Ned Leeds Is Awesome, POV Tony Stark, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Protective Rhodey, Rhodey Feels, Rhodey Is a Good Bro, Teen Peter Parker, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Trans Peter Parker, but then I was like not Tony/Rhodey too i guess, they are all adorable though, this was only supposed to be Peter/Ned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 06:59:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12030618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenSpencerRiedPlease/pseuds/TenSpencerRiedPlease
Summary: When Peter comes to Tony in a panic looking stressed Tony assumes that there’s some new villain on his ass or something but then Peter says, “I need some dating advice,” and the illusion is shattered.





	Advise 911

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I had on the brain and was like you know what, write it instead of sleeping you savage and here we are.
> 
> I hope you all like it!

When Peter comes to Tony in a panic looking stressed Tony assumes that there’s some new villain on his ass or something but then Peter says, “I need some dating advice,” and the illusion is shattered.

Tony looks at him like he’s grown a second head and sighs, “and you’re coming to me, the guy who has had exactly one relationship in his whole life that ended in a fiery mess almost literally why?” he asks, frowning. Not that he and Pepper were on bad terms, they could never really be on bad terms, but they both agreed that maybe dating was a bad idea. Tony stressed Pepper out with the hero thing and Pepper being stressed tended to stress him out so they were mostly business partners now. Sure it was awkward at first but they were mostly fine now. Regardless he was still woefully unqualified to deal with relationship advice from a panicking teenager.

Peter considers this for a moment and frowns, “I guess that’s a good point but like… you’ve dated a lot. You kind of have a reputation,” he points out.

“I have a reputation for being a misogynistic womanizer, is that what your date is into?” he asks bluntly.

“I don’t think so. Um… he’s mostly into Star Wars right now but his interests shift every three months like clockwork and we just built a Death Star together so it’ll probably change soon. Hopefully to Star Trek because I don’t really like Star Wars but he was so excited about it I couldn’t crush his feelings and I like puzzles because, well you know about the ADHD, they help so I agreed to help him and also his excitement is cute,” Peter rambles.

Tony is pretty sure the kid doesn’t need his advice because it sounds like he knew the kid pretty well so Tony tells him that. “Seriously, the hard part of dating is finding someone who doesn’t make you want to slit your throat after three seconds and you’ve done that and it sounds like maybe he’s into you too. So uh, talk to him?” he almost asks instead of states. That seemed to be everyone’s advice but talking has never done Tony any good, all he did was talk and then people thought he was an arrogant jackass who only liked to talk about himself. In part that was true because everyone else was way more boring than him, which was an objective fact not an arrogant statement, but mostly he didn’t like silence. Peter was great because the kid moved at like ten million miles a minute so there was never any empty space. Plus he learned cool facts about jellyfish or whatever Peter’s latest fixation was.

“I don’t even know if he’s into dudes and like I have uh…” he gestures to his crotch and Tony rolls his eyes.

“You can say vagina kid, I’m a grown man I can take it without laughing like all your classmates. To be honest I’d just ask if he was into guys and be like ‘oh yeah and I’m trans’ but that’s because I’m blunt so maybe you should find another way,” he says. Bluntness with the trans thing, Tony has learned, didn’t necessarily go well. The gay thing he got, he grew up in the eighties, the trans thing he didn’t know much about until Peter had come to him about some suit problems that weren’t really with the suit. Thankfully Tony knew a thing or two about suiting people with boobs thanks to Natasha and a little bit of practice with Wanda and found a way to compress Peter’s chest in a way that wouldn’t restrict his movement or breathing like a binder would. Technically he still had a little boob, but it looked natural and more like a pec than a boob so Tony declared it a success after Peter’s worries were abated.

“I don’t think he’d react badly to the trans thing it’d just kind of hard to bring that up in normal conversation. I mean everyone at school knows and like they call me names and stuff but he thinks they’re just being assholes,” Peter says, shrugging.

“They are being assholes so he isn’t wrong. If you think he’ll take it well than tell him about it. And ask about the being into guys thing,” Tony adds.

“How do I bring that up in normal conversation? Like I can’t just be like ‘hey, do you like guys? Do you like _trans_ guys?’ That’s weird,” Peter says.

Yeah it was, Tony knew because that’s what he did with Rhodey one time on his thirtieth birthday, which resulted in an eye roll from Rhodey who had apparently noticed Tony had a type when it came to guys too. He didn’t care because he’s Rhodey and everyone should have one. “Uh… maybe watch a movie with gay characters or something, that seems like a good gateway,” Tony suggests.

Peter perks up, “you’re totally right, that’s perfect!”

*

Tony met Ned through Peter thanks to that time he ruined some kid’s car as Spider Man and Ned insisted on being involved in Peter’s spider activities. Tony might have advocated against it but the two actually worked really well together so he figured if they were going to risk their asses they might as well do so in a controlled environment. This was how Ned ended up spending hours at a time in a section of Tony’s lab directing Peter on how not to get his ass handed to him. Tony didn’t much mind because sometimes they were funny and it was nice to have someone around when the Avengers weren’t. Tony had decided to take a more permanent leave from the team though he did work with various policing agencies to outfit them with gear to properly withstand enhanced people. It was more low key than he was used to but he liked it just fine, plus there was his work with SI still.

“Um,” Ned says after he successfully talked Peter through tracking down someone who had stolen a car. “This might be a little weird but I uh… need some relationship advice,” he says.

Tony had to wonder what the hell it was these kids saw in him that made _him_ seem like a good candidate for this but he sighs. “Alright kid, lay it on me. What do you need help with?” he asks.

Ned looks more uncomfortable than Tony feels, “uh, literally everything. I don’t know what I’m doing here so uh, teach me your ways,” he says.

He has to laugh at that, “Ned I’ve been in _one_ relationship and it failed, my ways are unsuccessful,” he points out.

Ned squints a little, “huh, good point. But like you seem to know about this stuff though so what do I do?” he asks.

These kids really needed to find someone more qualified to deal with their problems but Tony decides to give it a shot anyways. He had a little experience from Peter, what could go wrong? “Okay first things, does this person know you’re interested?” he asks. That seemed like a good place to start.

“No and I don’t even know if he’s into guys and also I’m like really asexual and how the hell do you bring _that_ up in a normal conversation? Like ‘hey lets go hang out with the sting rays at the local aquarium also I’m asexual maybe we can pet the sting rays’. That’s weird,” Ned says and Tony agrees but it was the sting rays that made it weird to him. That and he had no idea what an asexual was.

“Uh just for a little clarification here what the hell is an asexual?” he asks. The only ‘asexual’ thing he knew about was asexual reproduction but he definitely didn’t think that’s what Ned was referring to because that… wasn’t scientifically possible.

Ned looks oddly relieved and Tony doesn’t get why but alright. “Firstly thank you for not calling me a plant, secondly it’s when a person doesn’t experience sexual attraction and I don’t really do the sex thing because that’s just weird have you _seen_ human genitalia? The only thing grosser than junk is eye lashes; do you know what _lives_ on those? Anyways yeah, I don’t know what to do,” he says.

Tony frowns, “wouldn’t being asexual automatically mean you don’t do the sex thing or…?” he trails off, confused.

“No, some asexuals have sex drives but I don’t and normal people do and all literally everyone in our school can talk about sex and honestly Star Wars is just so much better, why are they all so obsessed with an activity that involves the second grossest body part?” he asks more to himself than Tony.

To be honest he wasn’t wrong about human genitalia even if he totally lost Tony after that. “Uh, I’m still confused but I’ll just research on my own time to spare you. Okay, how do you think this guy will react?” Tony asks. Because if he were this guy he’d be a _field_ of questions after that discussion.

“Uh, probably okay. He doesn’t seem like the bigot type but you never know when it comes to asexual stuff because people will do weird things like claim it doesn’t exist and call us plants and stuff even if they accept gay people,” Ned says in a sad tone.

“That makes no sense, why would people argue that asexuals don’t exist- you know what, we’re going to leave that. Also plenty of plants reproduce sexually so that makes no sense from a scientific stand point but I’m going to put that on the bench for now too. FRIDAY find me everything you can on asexuality and make sure it’s to do with humans, not asexual reproduction,” he tells the AI. “Okay, so you think this guy will react well, that’s good. Uh… watch a movie with gay characters and bring it up after that. Seems like a logical gateway,” he says, repeating his advice to Peter to Ned. It was relevant to both of them at least.

*

“Rhodey I need relationship advice,” Tony tells him and Rhodey frowns.

“Are you sure you’re ready to move on from Pepper? You two didn’t break up that long ago and you took it pretty hard,” he points out. Probably because his entire life was imploding at that point not because he would have taken it that hard under normal circumstances. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Pepper, he did, but he could feel their relationship falling apart anyways. It didn’t surprise him when things ended, it just came at a bad time and that was no one’s fault. Well, a little bit his because of Ultron but that was another problem altogether.

“It’s not for me, for some reason Ned and Peter think I’m qualified to give relationship advice and I’m not so I’m asking you,” he says.

Rhodey frowns, “Tony the longest relationship I ever had was a semester in college and Monica dumped me because she claimed I was in love with you,” he says.

Yeah, he remembered that well actually but when Tony brushed it off and acted like it wasn’t a problem everyone ignored that it happened. It was weird but Rhodey said it was because people were afraid of him, which hadn’t made sense until Rhodey pointed out what happened to the last person that had made a nasty comment to Rhodey. Then he got it. He also suddenly got why Ned and Peter thought he was capable of giving dating advice despite his lack of experience too. Rhodey was a levelheaded logical human being; it was natural for Tony to go to him for advice even if he was under qualified. Peter and Ned idolized him even if they shouldn’t so to them he was their Rhodey. He hoped he didn’t screw the two of them over.

“Uh… well you still seem like a good person to ask,” Tony says eventually.

“Ask Pepper,” Rhodey tells him and Tony wrinkles his nose.

“I’m not going to ask my ex girlfriend for relationship advice, that’s weird. Plus she hardly has better luck, have you _met_ the people she’s dated? I was not an improvement,” he says, remembering that one time Pepper accidentally went on a date with a guy who kept his hair clippings in a bag in his closet. He didn’t even know how that was brought up during dinner and honestly he didn’t want to find out. And that was on the tame end of Pepper’s weird stories.

Rhodey sighs, “well at least she’s qualified to give advice, I don’t know how to avoid men that think CSI is a show about actual cops but she does,” he says.

Tony snorts and starts laughing, “I wonder if that guy has seen Criminal Minds,” he says and Rhodey starts laughing too.

“Yeah, there’s gullible and then there’s that guy. Anyways, I’m just saying I’m not any more qualified than you. Maybe you should ask someone else you know,” he says.

“I have three friends, you’re one of them, Pepper is my ex, and FRIDAY isn’t even human. I’m _not_ sending them to FRIDAY, you remember what happened when she discovered psychology,” he says and Rhodey laughs.

“Ahh, the therapy AI with no real knowledge of humans trying to make her little flesh machine run better. You have to admit that was kind of funny,” he says.

“Was not, I had to get her to read about unethical psychological practices. JARVIS never did that,” he says.

“Okay fine so FRIDAY needed an ethics lesson but it came from a good place and she’s not determined to act as a therapy AI so you did something right there. Plus you made JARVIS when you were a teenager and FRIDAY as an adult, obviously you were going to do some things different. You did make her more human-like than JARVIS and I’m honestly impressed,” he says.

Tony would be too if he weren’t so busy working out FRIDAY’s bugs. She was good for a fledgling AI, she had a lot less problems than JARVIS, but that time she decided to reprogram herself to only speak Dutch for some reason was still inconvenient. “Yeah, she is more human I guess but I miss JARVIS. Maybe he would have good relationship advice,” Tony says wistfully.

“JARVIS might have been good but he wasn’t that good. He’d probably find like ten million self help sites and accidentally train a couple of teenagers how to be serial killers,” Rhodey says, wrinkling his nose.

“True. I’ve read supposed self help manuals and after determining that they were clearly written by people like Howard I figured they weren’t a good source of relationship advice. Do you think Happy would be able to help?” he asks, remembering his driver too late. Poor guy, he spent way too much time with Tony to be forgotten by him.

“Happy will be _no_ help, just trust me on this,” Rhodey says.

*

“So,” Peter says, pulling off his Spider Man mask, “I told my um… date about being trans. And bisexual. He took it well.”

Tony nods a little absentmindedly because he was trying to figure out the math for his current project and- and Peter expected a response. “That’s good. You should ask him out,” Tony says, still mostly focused on the math.

“Yeah, maybe I should. And it turns out he’s asexual so I don’t even have to worry about weird sex stuff because he’s mostly the sex repulsed kind of asexual and that is just so much less pressure on me you know? Like maybe I’d try sex eventually but right now things are weird with my body and second puberty really sucks and did you just realize something?” Peter asks as Tony’s head shoots up.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he mumbles to himself, not Peter.

*

Tony leads Peter out to a nice looking patio with roses and candle light and all that other shit romance movies liked to glorify- it was even Pepper approved once Tony finally decided it wasn’t too weird to ask her because the date wasn’t his- and he releases Peter on Ned. He had arrived a little early, something Tony knew he had a habit of, and Peter was a little late, something Tony also knew about. He might have told Peter that being late to a date was rude but he didn’t technically know it was a date so he doesn’t say anything.

“Here, please talk to each other and stop asking me for relationship advice because I’m not qualified to give it. Ask that Michelle girl you guys talk about sometimes,” he says, gently nudging Peter towards the table.

Peter looks at the table, then Ned, and then Tony. “Are you… setting us up on a date for us?” he asks.

“Yes, now please go enjoy the food and the candles and the roses because I worked hard on those things. Also talk to each other, I can’t stress that enough,” he says, slowly backing out of the outdoor space. He ducks just inside the door way though because he wanted to know how things were going to go.

“Dude,” Ned says excitedly, “Iron Man planned our first date we are officially the coolest couple ever.”

Peter lets out a squeal, “oh my god _right_? I can’t believe this is happening, it’s like those memes where the friend hits on the person their friend has a crush on for them except he planned a whole date!”

“Remember when we joked about him being your Iron Dad? Well it’s totally legit now, he’s definitely your Iron Dad and he planned an Iron Date,” Ned says and Peter laughs.

“That’s hilarious, you should be a comedian,” he says. Tony frowns because he was Peter’s Iron _what_? He decides now was a good time to leave and find Rhodey.

When he throws himself down on the couch beside Rhodey he frowns at Tony, “aren’t you going to eavesdrop like a proper parent?” he asks and Tony squints at him.

“I am not the parent of those children, why is everyone suggesting I am? Anyways they started referencing memes and other weird stuff so I decided to admit defeat and acknowledge that I can’t like up to the youngins.”

Rhodey snorts and starts laughing, “I can’t believe you just said the word ‘youngins’ out loud. I never thought I’d see the day when you acted like an old person, you always seemed to wild for that, too reckless,” he says wistfully.

Tony shrugs, “I’ve been through a lot, it kind of killed my youthful buzz forever.”

Rhodey reaches out and squeezes Tony’s knee, “I know you’ve been through a lot but you’re tough, you’ll get through it. You always do.”

Tony smiles a little at the reassurance, “you too Rhodey. You’ve been in literal wars and won awards for stopping terrorists, losing the function of your legs is a lot less scary and challenging than that,” he says.

“I don’t know about that. I’ve done a lot of crazy shit but learning how not to run into walls so I can get around my apartment despite everything being too high for me is probably the most frustrating and annoying thing I’ve ever had to do. With the terrorists that was like one mission or a few prolonged events but this is permanent, I don’t get to walk away from this literally. This is for life and that’s a little bit more scary than tracking down some random person,” he says.

Never mind that that person was usually a mass murderer with no morals and no self-preservation who was loyal to what was essentially a cult to a fault, none of that was scary to Rhodey at all apparently. Tony had to admire bravery like that given that it took a special kind of person to do what Rhodey did. If he were even half a good a man as Rhodey was he would have made a much better hero.

“I can make you a hover chair,” Tony suggests and Rhodey laughs.

“No, I am good thank you. Just help me out with the physical therapy and I think we’ll be good,” he says. They sit there for a long time in comfortable silence, something Tony rarely had with anyone, before Rhodey speaks again. “You know she was right, right? Monica? I didn’t want to admit it for a long time, most of my life now honestly. You know how the military was, still is. And you were always off doing something or usually some _one_ else so I didn’t want to interfere. You and Pepper were good together too until that kind of…” he trails off, trying to find a nice way to put it.

There was no nice way to put it though so Tony forges on ahead. “Until it turned into a sentient pile of flaming tires?” he suggests and Rhodey starts laughing.

“Where the hell do you even come up with this stuff? But yeah, it didn’t end well at least as a romantic relationship. You both handled turning it into something else well though, I’m proud of you for that. Relationships of any kind never were your thing.” That was putting it lightly and Rhodey knew it. There was a reason Tony had more fingers on one hand than friends and it was because he was bad at relationships and a little because people were bad at wanting a relationship with him. Plenty liked the billionaire, playboy, philanthropist but not many liked Tony Stark. Or, like the Avengers, they just didn’t see him at all but he was fine with that. He had what he needed.

“Thanks. Pepper runs the company I pour my blood sweat and tears into though, we didn’t have a choice but to work it out given that neither of us were letting that go. That and she’s always handled all my shit well. Wait, did you just say you’re in love with me?” he asks, catching on to Rhodey’s Monica comment _way_ too late. And Ned and Peter thought he was qualified to give relationship advice, _ha_.

Rhodey smiles, “I knew it’d take a minute. Yeah I did and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, I just figured since we spent like a week planning a date for Peter and Ned because they both came to you asking about relationship advice and didn’t know it that I should maybe just tell you how I feel before we end up in some weird romance novel or something. Seriously, that kind of thing only happens in fiction, real people don’t do that,” he says.

Oh how wrong he was, Tony has done it but he leaves that be. “I don’t feel the same way, at least not romantically but I’m not opposed to trying something out. You’re my oldest friend and you understand me better than anyone, even Pepper. Shit, even _me_ honestly. If it works it works, if not I already have proof that things won’t have to be weird and awkward.”

“You don’t think it’s too soon after Pepper?” Rhodey asks, looking concerned in a pretty friend-like way. Tony had to wonder how he did that given that most people weren’t good at being friends while also pining after a person but Rhodey was special so he wasn’t surprised that he figured it out.

“No. I knew that was ending for a long time before either of us were willing to admit it. Neither of us like admitting defeat so we probably stretched things out too long. Either way I started working through what life without Pepper was like long before it happened. Lucky me I didn’t actually have to deal with losing her even if she complains about paperwork way more now that I can’t distract her with kisses. Mostly that’s what I miss about dating her now because I could always stave it off for another day. To be honest that’s most of what’s different about our relationship now though. Wasn’t that hard for you to watch?” Tony asks, curious about Rhodey’s feelings.

He shrugs, “sure but my feelings aren’t your problem and I know it. I wasn’t going to creepily pine after you and hope you woke up one day and realized I was sitting right here when you didn’t even know how I felt. I wanted you to be happy and I wanted my feelings for you to go away, watching you in a relationship with someone theoretically solved my problems. My feelings didn’t go away but I was still happy that you were happy. I knew that you’d still need me around and I was more than fine with being your friend, it wasn’t like it was some kind of demotion especially with all the cool private jets,” he says and Tony laughs.

“I guess so. Thanks for not being weird about it though, I appreciate that.” God only knew what he would have made of that and anyone else wouldn’t have taken Rhodey’s approach. He couldn’t even figure out a couple of teens getting together let alone figure out that his best friend was acting weird because he was secretly in love with him, that would literally be the last conclusion Tony would come to. He’d sooner think Rhodey was dying but that was probably because he acted weird when he was dying and that would seem more likely to him than Rhodey being in love with him.

“No problem. You’d probably freak out and assume I had leprosy or something,” Rhodey says and Tony snorts.

“Yeah I would. So,” he says after a moment, “I’m just going to be blunt here. How’s sex in the wheelchair work?”

Rhodey gives him a _look_ and then rolls his eyes when he realizes Tony is serous. “I have no idea, I haven’t exactly had time to test it out,” he points out.

Good point. “I’ll do research and figure it out then, we can experiment. For science.” Rhodey laughs and shakes his head at Tony’s antics like always.

*

Peter couldn’t believe he and Ned both went to Tony for relationship advice because that was _so embarrassing_. “Well in my defense I thought you liked Liz,” Ned says.

“I did like Liz but then her dad tried to kill me like seventeen times and she moved away,” he says. That was reason enough, he figured, to no longer have an interest in someone even if Liz was still really pretty.

“Okay but you can see why I thought I didn’t stand a chance. I mean Liz is… well Liz and I don’t know if you know this but fat nerds aren’t exactly beating romantic partners off with a stick,” Ned says.

“Neither are trans guys. I mean one wandering hand if I make out with a person and _boom_ , I’m being yelled at because vagina. Not my idea of a good time,” Peter says, wrinkling his nose.

“I don’t care about your vagina or anyone else’s vagina. They look like weird fat rolls and penises are not prettier. They look like naked mole rats but without teeth. Old naked mole rats who need dentures,” Ned says and Peter starts laughing.

“They kind of do oh my god. That’s nice though, it means I don’t have to deal with a lot of things I don’t know how to explain,” Peter says honestly. It wasn’t like their sex ed classes covered what trans guys could expect in the bedroom. It barely covered what cisgender people were doing in there; mostly it was gross STI pictures and warnings not to get pregnant. Peter was so happy to not have to worry about periods now because every time it did something weird he was _convinced_ he was the next Virgin Mary and he did not want that. Menopause sucked though and when aunt May got to that age he’d at least be able to talk her through it. She was offended when he brought it up and claimed she was too young for that but Peter knew her birth year so he knew it’d be happening soon whether she wanted to admit it or not.

Ned nods, “that make sense. But it doesn’t bug you though right, the no sex thing?”

Peter shakes his head, “nah. I’m fifteen, I don’t even know what I’m doing yet and I just hit puberty again so I think maybe I should focus on my cracking voice.” He did his best to try and imitate his uncle Ben but it always came out squeaky and weird.

“I like your voice, I think it’s fun,” Ned says and Peter laughs. “Just do me a favor and don’t sound like Flash when your voice settles because then I’d have to dump you.”

Peter laughs again, “I’m pretty sure the T won’t make me sound like an arrogant jerk but I’ll do my best. What if my voice gets like weirdly deep though, what if I sound like Morgan Freeman? Don’t laugh, I have nightmares about it.” And then Flash would make fun of him more, and Michelle would draw him in even more crisis situations, and Ned would take his Death Star and go build it with someone else who actually likes Star Wars. That would all suck.

“I don’t think you’ll sound like Morgan Freeman but if you do you can narrate my life and that would be pretty cool,” Ned says. “Also it would make your Spider Man persona that much more cool. Imagine Morgan Freeman yelling at Vulture.”

Okay that made it sound less scary as a possibility. “Cool. I kind of hope my voice sounds more like Tony’s though, he has a nice voice.” He didn’t really like Steve’s voice in person, it sounded better on video, but Falcon had a really cool voice. Too deep for him but it was still nice. As long as he didn’t come out sounding like Wanda he was fine.

“Aw, you can have a voice like your dad,” Ned jokes and Peter rolls his eyes.

“Not too loud, he can’t know we joke about it,” he says and Ned looks suddenly worried.

“Oh my god we can’t ever let him know, that would be so much more embarrassing than accidentally both going to him for relationship advice on each other! What if he finds all those notes we’ve passed in class about him being you Iron Clad Dad? That’s _so_ weird,” he says, wincing.

Peter takes a deep breath, “I’m a super hero. An honest to god super hero and if I can take down my sort of ex girlfriend’s dad who tried several times to kill me I can deal with Tony Stark finding weird notes about him being my Iron Clad Dad,” he says bravely.

“Can not, stop lying,” Ned tells him and Peter buries his face in his hands.

“Oh my god I can’t, he can never find out!”

**Author's Note:**

> [My writing Tumblr](https://tenspencerriedplease.tumblr.com/)


End file.
